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Omega pt 2
Enter IA
“Ghostbusters!” “Ghostbusters!” “Ghostbusters!” “Ghostbusters!” the crowd chanted as they made their way to the Ecto O1.
“Well somebody still appreciates us,” Kevin said.
“Yep. I am going to miss it,” Ryan said.
“You leavin?” Josh asked putting his pack on the sliding rack.
“Duh, I’m going to college in the fall,” Ryan put his down.
“Yeah,”
Kevin sighed again, “We still have to figure out what to do with our
franchise. That is if we have a
franchise by the time this is over.”
“You think we’re going to get in trouble,” Ryan asked seriously.
“Ramey is not going to be happy. I know that much,” Kevin closed the back door.
Thursday Jun 22,
Onarga GB HQ
The somber notes of John William’s “Across the Stars” filtered through Kevin’s earphones. He sometimes wondered why he had it on his windows media player play list. It was a beautiful song, but it always hurt him. It made him contemplate his love life, or better stated lack there of. It was a song of a love not meant to be, and Kevin wondered if he might share a similar fate.
The feeling was amplified by the worry deep in his gut. That morning William Ramey, Director of Ghostbusters International’s Internal Affairs Department had posted a message on the GBI message boards that IA had received a complaint from the museum and a pending lawsuit. He had left an ominous warning about the future of the Onarga division, but said nothing would be final until after a meeting with Dr. Venkman. That had been almost six hours previous.
Josh and Ryan sat in front of the TV watching “The Simpsons.” They were happily unaware of the situation. Kevin figured it best. The last thing he needed was them hovering over his shoulder nagging him to check the site over and over.
Kevin closed his eyes in near meditation as the last few notes were strummed from a harp. Before the final note could resonate, the loud mail sound from his yahoo messenger alerted him to new email.
“From: ghostbustingops@
ghostbustersinternational.com, Subj: Topic Reply Notification - The
Onarga Ghostbusters "Update 6/21/06" ”
His gut
wrenched. He didn’t bother to open the
email; it would just redirect him to the forums anyway. He just stared at the screen; the ominous
GBI: Internal Affairs listed in the last post column. He has always had the same phobia anytime he
got an email or pm; it is as though he always fears the worst. This time though, he was pretty
certain his fears were justified.
Finally, he clicked the link. At
about
Well personally, to show good faith
towards a lawsuit I think the best answer would be to revoke franchise status
permanently. However, Dr. Venkman does
not see it that way.
So instead, I am left with
putting your franchise on a temporary probation period.
During this period 2-3 weeks depending
on an inquiry into your behavior. You will be monitored by a
hand selected IA agent. They will
report directly to me on the status of your group,
if I like what I hear, then you will just be left with
fines and any damages as incurred from the lawsuit.
If I don't, I hope you have other career plans.
Being as its Thursday, the period won’t begin until
Monday.
I have sent an email to you including more detail.
His first response was Thank you Dr. V!
His second
response was Sonofabitch!
His actual response was:
You know, my first instinct is to
rant and rave about how we did nothing wrong and how this agent will do nothing
but impede our work,
but I wont,
I know that you are just trying to what you think is best to keep this company going. Even though I might not appreciate it, you
are just doing your job. Since we have
nothing to hide, I say bring it on.
If your agent has an attitude though, that might change
things (unless it’s an incredibly beautiful woman.)
So
you do your job, and we will do ours, as good as we always have. And if you cant,
well, I got two words for you:
Try harder 
It could be worse he thought taking off his headphones to be the baron of bad news to the others. Being defensive is not the way to handle it he reminisced to a situation that had happened only a few weeks prior. The Simpsons had just gone to commercial when Kevin got to the couch.
“You ready to get something to eat?” Josh asked looking up.
“Yeah, I am thinking Mexican,” Ryan said getting up.
“The food or the waitress,” Josh asked.
Ryan grinned, “Both.”
“Listen, as much as I am starving, we got us a situation,” Kevin said looking down.
“What kind of situation,” Josh asked.
“Well I was right, Ramey was pissed, and now there’s a lawsuit,” Kevin stated.
“What the F**k!” Josh stood up, “for saving the place?”
“That’s bullshit,” Ryan joined.
“I know, GBI legal is handling the lawsuit, but to show good faith, Internal Affairs is sending an agent to oversee us for a ‘probationary period.’”
“Great!” Josh ranted, “Some snob ass who doesn’t know the first thing about us is going to be following us around with a clipboard for a week getting in our way.”
“Basically,” Kevin replied.
“Who is it?” Ryan asked.
“I dunno, Ramey is supposed to be sending out an email later tonight with the agent’s information and flight times. The investigation starts Monday, so I guess we will just have to wait till then. With the Relay for Life this weekend, I don’t exactly have time to worry about it. I just know I don’t want to make asses out of ourselves and get fired for not being cooperative. I know how ugly that can get.”
“Don’t worry, Kevie, we’re professionals,” Ryan tried to be supportive.
“Yep, we make asses out of ourselves for a living,” Josh grabbed his Cubs hat. “Now let’s go eat.”
Monday June 26th
This sucks Kevin thought trying to hobble along the second floor of Onarga’s HQ. The Relay for Life had been a success, but it was murder on the legs. Add that to the thoughts about what Janice Harvey might bring down upon them made it worse.
They had
come home that Thursday to find the email from Ramey containing the name of
their new best friend, Harvey. She was
to arrive at
“Josh, check Willard’s site to make sure everything is running on time,” Kevin said plopping on the couch. Josh lazily minimized his NASCAR site, and opened the airport’s in a new window.
“Looks good,” he said, “The B***h should get here on time.”
“I am glad you’re reserving judgment,” Kevin said turning on the TV.
There is nothing like a free babysitter in the summertime, which is why Summer in the Park was always filled. Parents could drop off their kids, and after a day of happily running around on the playground, the parents could pick up a tired kid. It was truly a one-sided deal, especially for the high school girls hired by the town to be the “counselors.”
“I just couldn’t believe she came to the party with him!”
“I heard Shelly caught them upstairs in her parent’s bedroom.”
“Wasn’t that just before the cops came?”
Two of the
high school girls sat on a bench facing the basketball court with their backs
to the rest of the park as the “imp” terrorized the playground. There wasn’t enough Tylenol in
“I hate these brats,” Kendra Mosser said wiping her black hair out of her face to check on the kids.
“No shit, I wish I would have got the mall job. Serving pretzels is a helluva lot quieter,” Deidre Tilstra showed her love for children.
“Oh, my, god,” Kendra started.
“What? Is Melissa driving by in her daddy’s vette again?” Deidre turned quickly to catch a glimpse.
“What in the hell is that?”
Onarga HQ
“I love a good piece of toast,” Josh commented coming upstairs from the lower level kitchen. “Too bad Ryan used up all the peanut butter last night.”
“What did him and spot get together again?” Kevin laughed watching Fox News.
“That’s sick, I am trying to eat here,” Josh punched him in the shoulder while sitting down. “Is he still in the shower?”
Kevin rubbed his arm, “No his ‘purification’ process was done a few seconds ago,” now he’s trying to find the perfect outfit to impress our guest.”
“I hope she’s a hag,” Josh took a bite, “Not really, but it would make it easier to tell her off.”
“What happened to cooperation?” Kevin sighed.
“Only on Thursdays,” Josh retorted.
“Well I will tell you, either one of you two screw this up, and I will kick both your asses.”
Ryan's voice called out behind them, “How do I look?” He was wearing a sky blue t-shirt under an off-white short sleeve button down shirt with khaki shorts and sandals.
“You look like a fag,” Josh said.
“That’s just what I wanted to hear,” Ryan ran and jumped on the couch, “say, got any more toast.”
RI I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I ING!
Things went silent. They always did when the phone rang. Kevin, Josh, and Ryan listened intently trying to gauge the situation from Becky’s slightly audible chatter. Their eyes glanced back and forth at each other waiting for the alarm to sound. They didn’t want to pick up the upstairs phone; it would be too obvious.
CLICK: Becky hung up the phone. The Ghostbusters tensed ready to spring like a track star waiting for the starting pistol.
BANG!
The alarm was barely in its second cycle when they reached the bottom of the stairs. In somewhat of an unusual show of enthusiasm Kevin ripped the call sheet off the desk as he flew by. The pain in his legs disappearing in a flood of adrenaline.
“
“We going to need a sponge?” Ryan asked tightening his web belt.
“May not be a bad idea,” Kevin zipped up his flight suit.
“Yo, what about the IA chick?” Josh asked tying his left boot.
“Fuck,” the realization hit Kevin. He set down the PKE meter. “Becky,” he got her attention.
“Yes?”
“I need you to call Willard airport. Get a hold of the Oceanic counter and leave a message for Ms. Harvey.”
“What message?”
Kevin had already started back towards the locker, “we are going to be a bit late.”
“I am starting to think we should have brought the sponge,” Josh stated shifting his head trying to look through the mess of cars to see what they had been called about.
“Let’s just take some samples, neutranize the slime, and then clean it up,” Kevin said also looking. “Then we can pick up our new best friend and get this investigation started with.”
“In that case, I hope this takes for ever,” Josh shifted into park.
Kevin got out grabbing his PKE meter and a few glass vials.
“You grabbing the packs?” Josh asked waiting by the back door.
“Nah,” Kevin said. “I wanna get a few samples and readings first.”
“It will just be another trip,” Josh said cynically.
“Come on Josh,” Ryan slapped his shoulder, “Exercise is good for you.”
“Good
advice Mr. Sleep till
“Good for you not for me,” Ryan grinned. “Wow that is one big puddle of slime.”
They had made their way to the front of the crowd. The slime pool spread at least 8 feet on out from the old jungle gym. There was already something a bit off about the scene. The slime crackled audibly with energy. However, that wasn’t the focus. The five-year-old boy on top of the jungle gym was.
“OH THANK GOD YOU’RE HERE,” Kendra rushed over to them grabbing Kevin’s flight suit. “You gotta save him, if you don’t I am going to get fired I am going to not be able to pay my car insurance I am not going to be able to go to the mall I am not…”
“Calm down,” Kevin said removing her hands. “We can get him.”
“Thank you!” She sighed. “Now I can call the mother back.”
“Mother?” Kevin’s eyes widened.
“Ya, she was upset. She said she’d rush over right away.”
“Oh fuck,” Kevin moaned. He turned back to Josh and Ryan, “We gotta work fast. We got a crazed mother coming.”
“What’s there to work?” Josh asked. “We walk through the slime, climb up the bars, pick up the kid, and enjoy the applause.” He looked up at the kid, “Hey Kid!”
“Yes?” the boy didn’t take his eyes off the slime.
“What’s your name?” Kevin looked up trying to get the boy to relax.
“Frank,” the boy mumbled.
“Well Frank, do you know you we are?” Kevin asked putting on a smile.
“No,” the boy deadpanned.
“We’re the Ghostbusters!” Kevin exclaimed.
“Who’s that?” The boy said innocently unaware.
“The people that are going to get you down,” Kevin said recovering.
“Where’s my mommy?” the boy asked holding on tightly.
“She’s on her way, but right now Ryan's going to come get you ok?”
“Me?” Ryan asked.
Kevin lowered his voice, “Of course you. You the one that’s the closest to his maturity level.”
“Hey I don’t have to take this,” Ryan started.
“Just get the kid,” Josh commanded.
Ryan shrugged, “Alright.” He took a big step into the slime.
HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH
“Oh fuck!” Ryan leaped back he quickly untied and flung off what remained of his left boot. The crowd gasped at the site of the still burning leather.
Kevin tried to hide a devilish grin. “Now that’s the real reason.”
Ryan's look was serious, the funny man disappeared in true anger, “You KNEW?!”
“No,” Kevin regained composure “but I suspected.”
“Asshole!” Ryan lowered his voice.
“Listen I
am sorry. But we don’t have time for
this,” Kevin tried to apologize. He got
out the meter.
“Tell that to my toe,” Ryan said rubbing his foot that luckily only got hot not burnt.
“What’s going on?” Frank sobbed from above.
“BABY!” a middle-aged blond woman came bursting through the crowd.
“Mommy!” Frank bellowed.
The mother turned to the Ghostbusters, “What are you doing, why isn’t my son down yet?”
“We are doing everything we can ma’am we are just going to need patience.”
“That’s my kid up there!”
“WE know,” Kevin said.
Ryan, having cooled off, came up to Kevin, “Can’t we just blast the slime then save the kid?”
“Sure, then accidentally hit the kid and have a bigger suit on our hands,” Kevin remarked.
“Why don’t we just get a ladder?” Josh suggested.
“Now that’s an idea,” Kevin went to Kendra, “Ma’am we need a ladder.”
“We don’t have one,” she replied, “We looked for one but no one seems to have one.”
“Great!” Kevin pulled out his cell phone and dialed.
~911 emergency, what is your situation? ~
“Yes I am
here in
~I am sorry sir but all local fire departments are dispatched at this time. As soon as they are available, we will send one out. Would you like to stay on the line? ~
“No thanks,” Kevin flipped shut the phone. “Alright, we’re going to have to improvise.”
“Can’t we just run to the hardware store?” Josh asked.
A groan emanated from the jungle gym as it shifted. Kevin grabbed the goggles from Josh’s belt.
“No time,” Kevin said solemnly. “The slime is eating through the metal.”
***
“I still don’t understand why it has to be me, AGAIN.” Ryan said wearing a pair of tennis shoes borrowed from the crowd.
“Because you’re the track star,” Kevin knelt back to the slime, hands cupped.
“What if I don’t make it?” Ryan stalled.
“You’ll make it,” Kevin said.
Ryan looked at Josh who was waiting with the rope to throw to Ryan.
“Don’t look at me,” he said.
Not thinking anymore about it Ryan took into a sprint towards Kevin. Kevin’s eyes squinted as Ryan planted a foot into his cupped hands. With all his strength, Kevin hurled Ryan towards the jungle gym.
The crowd clapped as Ryan hit the crisscrossed bars…hard. He let out a small grunt but hung on. Frank glanced down slightly lessening his own death grip. The jungle gym moaned again as it lowered further into the slime.
“I... I.. I made it,” Ryan fought the urge to kiss the metal bars.
“Alright, turn around so I can give you the rope,” Josh got right to the edge of the pool.
“Now you are going to have to tie it tight, the throw the other end to us so we can make the zip line.” Kevin instructed.
“Is this going to work?” the mother had calmed only somewhat.
“I don’t see why not?” Kevin said as Josh threw the rope.
The plan was to create a zip line from the jungle gym to a near by swing, Ryan would then belt Frank to himself, then zip down the line using a suit hanger they found in the trunk of the Ecto.
It wasn’t as ingenious as a MacGyver plot, but wasn’t that bad either, until Ryan missed the rope. The slime ate through it in a matter of seconds, leaving both Ryan and Frank stranded together.
“Dumbass,” Josh stated.
“Now what?” Ryan yelled.
Frank started getting more agitated.
“I want down! MOMMY!”
“I’m here baby. I’m here!”
Josh leaned over to Kevin, “Think Ryan can just throw the kid down.”
“You scare me sometimes,” Kevin replied.
The jungle Gym continued to sink as another siren approached.
“Thank God,” Kevin looked up as the Gilman Fire department’s ladder truck pulled up.
“What the hell is this,” Steven Kemarly, Kevin’s older, taller, lankier brother, said getting out of the fire truck.
“Hey Steve,” Kevin said, “We need to get those two down.”
Steven took off his sunglasses, “Why the hell didn’t you go back to the house and get one of mom’s ladders out of the shed.”
“I dunno, I thought this would be faster,” Kevin started to feel embarrassed.
“Jesus,” Steve replied.
“Why are you guys arguing instead of saving MY BABY,” the mother’s calmness shattered. The gym let out another moan, settling at least 2 feet lower than it had been only a few moments before. Both Ryan and Frank were on the top platform.
“Alright,” Steve relented. He motioned to the other firefighters and got into the drivers seat.
The crowd parted as the truck made its way into the grass. With in a matter of minutes Ryan and Frank were safely on the ground. The crowd erupted in another round of applause. The mother rushed and scooped up her child.
“Oh thank you so much,” she praised Steven.
“Figures,” Kevin said folding his arms as Ryan hobbled over.
“So, what about the slime?” Josh asked as the fire trucks ladder retracted.
“We blast it until its harmless then scoop it up,” Kevin said heading towards the Ecto O-1.
The jungle gym hissed as it continued to be degraded by the slime.
But the sound changed. The hiss became more organic.
“Hey Kevin,” Josh sounded alarmed.
“What?” Kevin said unaware as he slid out the Proton pack rack.
“What class are animal ghosts?” he asked. People began screaming.
“Class 6,” Kevin turned around.
“No one is actually surprised are they?” Ryan asked shouldering the pack. “I mean there’s no way we were going to get by with just blasting slime.”
“Yeah,” Kevin agreed, “but it didn’t have to be snakes.”
“Could be worse,” Josh added, “We could be on a plane.”
Rising from the mangled steel of the jungle gym was a 12-foot translucent green serpent.
“ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY, STEP BACK!” Kevin yelled over the crowd. The proton packs hummed to life. It was an easy command to follow as people ran from the site.
“So what do we do?” Josh asked as the serpent floated, seeming to size them up.
“Well the manual says if I remember, that a knowledge of the creatures normal habits, allergies or enemies is needed,” Kevin replied. “You guys don’t happen to have a mongoose do you?”
“In my pants,” Ryan replied.
“Dumb fuck,” Josh shook his head, “Let’s just blast it.”
“That works too,” Kevin said making a fine tuned adjustment on the gun.
They fired sending the positively charged beams to attack the snake. The beams hit their mark coiling around the beast.
Kevin looked at Josh, both expressing a look of ‘Who’d a thunk it?’ As the beams tightened, the slime began to crackle with more energy. The snake glowed until it sent off a shock wave that threw off the beams and sent the Ghostbusters on their asses.
“Sonovabitch,” Ryan got up, “What the hell?”
“It’s the slime, its like hooking the energizer bunny up to a nuclear reactor. We have got to get ii away from there,” Kevin explained.
“How do we do that?” Josh asked.
“How we always do, we piss it off.”
“Let’s give ourselves a bigger head start this time,” Josh suggested.
The snake had coiled itself up absorbing the energy of the slime pool. The three backed up.
“Ok,” Kevin signaled.
“Alright slimy, time for some exercise,” Ryan said.
“Nice one Richard Simmons,” Josh replied.
“FIRE!” Kevin shouted.
They fired short bursts at the snake, rattling it out of its recharge. Its forked tongue shot out bearing in on its target. It began to uncoil preparing to strike. They kept firing on it as it began to hiss furiously.
“Think it’s mad yet?” Josh asked.
“I would say so,” Kevin said as it snapped at them. A split second saved their lives as the snake overshot their ducking bodies.
“Alright the bird has left the nest!” Kevin got up.
“So let’s get him,” Josh said blasting.
“Keep him away from the pool,” Kevin said joining the fray.
The snake wriggled and flexed in the air trying to free itself again, but the proton beams continued their hold. With out the added energy directly from the pool, the snake weakened.
“Alright lets bag it,” Kevin said.
“Can do,” Ryan got the trap and slid it out. Within seconds, the trap was full.
The crowd edged back closer and for the umpteenth time erupted in applause.
“It’s not over yet,” Kevin declared.
“Whadda you mean,” Josh raised his eyebrow.
Kevin motioned to the slime, “We gotta clean it up before something else emerges out of it.”
“All of it?” Ryan whined.
“All of it,” Kevin furrowed his eyebrows.
“Hey!” Ryan yelled to the crowd. “Anybody got a sponge?”
I-24 heading into Onarga
“God I needed that McChicken,” Josh said as they drove home from Gilman, “I still wish they’d a built an Arby’s there.”
“You just like them because they give you gas,” Kevin said finishing off his soda.
After spending about an hour and a half mopping up the slime, the boys took a much needed food run. Having filled their stomachs, they were ready for the day. Cresting the hill before the firehouse, they noticed a white rental sedan was in the Ecto O1’s parking spot.
“Oh Fuck!” Kevin set his cup down.
“What?!” Josh looked at him from the driver’s seat.
“Janice,” Kevin said holding his brow.
“oooooooh Fuuuuck,” Ryan and Josh repeated in unison.
“What a way to start the investigation, stranding her at the airport,” Kevin got out of the just parked car. Ryan went around back and grabbed the traps.
“It could be worse,” Josh added adjusting his glasses.
“It could be better,” Kevin took a breath and went through the doors. “Listen we are extremely sorry about this, we had a large bust this morning and forgot.”
Janice Harvey rose from the chair in front of Becky’s desk.
Ramey you magnificent bastard, was Kevin’s exact thought.
It had gotten better. Behind him Josh and Ryan shared variation on the same theme. Janice Harvey was incredibly good looking. Her light brown hair danced around her shoulders. Her piercing green eyes and soft nose were set off by red lips all set in a slender frame of a face. And her body, even under her strict business jacket and skirt, it was apparent that she could give even Hef a heart attack.
“I’m Janice Harvey, GBI Internal Affairs,” her tone told them all they needed to know, she might be hot but she was going to be hell on them.
Kevin pointed to himself, “I’m…”
“Kevin Kemarly, you are Josh Kanosky, and you are Ryan Price,” She finished his sentence.
“Ok, listen again I am sorry,” Kevin tried to recover. Josh and Ryan stood silent like deer in headlights.
“Your cell phones were off,” Janice switched gears checking her clipboard.
“Yeah we turned them off and put them in the car while we were cleaning up the slime, didn’t want to ruin them, I guess we never turned them back on.”
“And how exactly did you expect any potential customers to get through to you?” the conversation turned interrogation.
“We have the radio,” Kevin said getting a bit defensive.
“Then why didn’t you answer it?”
Ryan and Josh turned away. Ryan still held the full trap. He gave out a small cough. Kevin turned around.
“You better unload that,” Kevin said glad to have a break before he had a total explosion. He was already tired of her shit, hot or not.
“I’m coming with you to make sure you follow protocol,” She stepped towards the basement as Ryan went by.
“NO, your not,” Kevin said sternly.
“Excuse me,” Janice spun around giving quite the distraction. They stood practically face to face. Kevin discretely took a deep breath, forcing his blood to stop its diversion to his brain as it kept him looking at her emerald eyes.
“Only authorized personal permitted in the ECU area. You might be Internal Affairs but you don’t have clearance HERE. And that’s protocol. So I suggest you continue your paperwork while we dress down.”
They stared each other down. Josh and Ryan stood frozen. The way it played out they weren’t sure if blows were about to be exchanged or if they would start making out. After the brief moment Janice smirked, “Well it appears you aren’t totally incompetent after all.” She sat back down. By this point even Becky was looking nervous. Kevin stood down and threw his web belt into the locker. He looked up from unzipping his boots Josh and Ryan still stood in place, “You can go Ryan.”
“OK.”
Josh had started to put his stuff away as Janice wrote down comments on her official clipboard.
“So what do you think?” he whispered pulling off his boots.
“Hot, but she’s still an IA bitch,” Kevin said, “still hot though.”
“No shit, but she talks like that to me and I will punch her,” Josh said angrily.
“And get us fired?” Kevin said putting away his flight suit.
“I don’t care; I don’t let anybody talk to me like that especially some bitch.”
Kevin shook his head and closed the door to his locker, “You let me handle her,.”
“Excuse me,” Janice was right beside him.
“Uh yes?” he jumped slightly but caught himself.
“Well I would like to be able to unpack my things,” she said still carrying that smug tone. “You do have a place prepared for me don’t you.” Her inflections made Kevin want to smash something.
“Of course we have a room. We had one set up for our secretary…”
“Client Administrator you mean,” Janice corrected him.
“Of course,” Kevin faked a smile, “However she never stayed a night so we used it for storage. It is now cleaned and waiting for you. I am sure it will meet your clearly high standards.”
“Thank you,” she said sincerity lacking. “Once I unpack I will finish my inspection of the building so I can start staff interviews tomorrow.” She walked out to her car.
“Lovely,” Josh said.
“Yeah,” Ryan agreed having returned from unloading the trap, gaze following her exit.
“I hope cleanliness isn’t a protocol,” Josh said as Ryan's cluttered locker burst its content on to the floor.
Ryan smiled, “you know this isn’t so bad,” He looked out to where Janice was collecting her things from the back seat. “I couldn’t definitely be up for a little internal affair.”
“Keep it on a leash,” Kevin said hanging up his flight suit. “I am starting to think Ramey did this on purpose. After all what better way to get us fired than entrap us with a sexual harassment charge. I suggest we keep to ourselves.”
“So what do we cover our eyes for the next two weeks?” Ryan asked.
“Not at all,” Kevin found himself looking out, “After all, as good ole’ JR says, ‘Just cause you’re on a diet doesn’t meant you cant look at the menu.’”
“Amen,” Ryan said.
Janice looked up from her car to see the Onarga Ghostbusters looking out at her. They turned away quickly trying to act like nothing had happened. “Do you think you could help?” she yelled.
They practically tripped over themselves getting to her.
Tuesday June 27th
Kevin’s Bedroom
~DINGDONG, DINGDONG, DING DONG, DINGDONG~
“Uuuuuuugh” Kevin barely conscious moaned into his pillow.
~DINGDONG, DINGDONG, DING DONG, DINGDONG~
“Get the door mom!” Kevin started become more aware.
~DINGDONG, DINGDONG, DING DONG, DINGDONG~
“Son. Of. A. Bitch,” Kevin moaned again. He did not have to be in until four. Something he had scheduled purposefully to
allow him to recoup. He had planned to sleep until
~DINGDONG, DINGDONG, DING DONG, DINGDONG~
“SOMEBODY GET THE DOOR!” He sat up in his bed. He pulled the drapes to his front facing window. His mother’s PT Cruiser was gone. The only car occupying the gravel driveway was a white sedan.
~DINGDONG, DINGDONG, DING DONG, DINGDONG~
“I’m going to kill her,” Kevin said getting up rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Not stopping to comb his hair, brush his teeth, go to the bathroom or change out of his pajama pants and t shirt, he went to the door.
~DINGDONG, DINGDONG, DING DONG, DINGDONG~
“ALRIGHT,” Kevin unlocked and pulled open the blue door with frosted windows. Behind the screen door stood Janice, in tan Capri pants, and a slightly low cut blue blouse. If he had to guess, he would say that she had a matching suit jacket in the car. Of course he really didn’t care. Slung over her shoulder was a business bag. “What do need at this ungodly time of day?”
“Its
“Exactly!” Kevin rubbed his eyes again trying to awaken.
“Are you going to let me in?”
“Hadn’t thought about it,” he said bluntly. “Why are you here?”
“I have
some forms I forgot to have you fill out yesterday that I need before I can
start interviewing you and your staff.”
“So, not even the IA queen is perfect. Give them here,” Kevin said opening the door.
“No. I am supposed to have you read them, company policy,” She walked past him into his house.
“Come right in,” Kevin said sarcastically. He stepped in front of her through his front room and kitchen and motioned towards his room, “Step into my office.”
“This isn’t exactly professional,” She stated sharply probably referring what resembled a post tornado debris field of clothes, tools, and paperwork.
“You’re the one that forgot,” Kevin followed her into the room, kicking some clutter off to the sides. He grabbed his computer seat.
“Where should I sit?” She asked as she looked around.
“Where there isn’t junk,” Kevin said yawning.
She smoothed out the unmade bed as much as she could and sat down. She opened her case and leaned over it to get the papers out. Her back was exposed briefly.
Just remember: she’s IA and she’s a bitch. Kevin thought to himself overcoming the
instinct to look. Its too early for this.
“Here,” she handed him the papers, maybe ten pages maximum.
“Now, can I read it silently, of do we have to have a kindergarten read-along?” Kevin scanned the first page.
“You can read it.”
“Good,” he said already speeding through the first page, not actually deciphering the words.
Janice looked around at the cluttered and seemingly unorganized room. “This is really bad.”
Kevin put his finger on where he was, “You should see my dorm room.” He was already halfway through.
“It is amazing how powerful sex can be.”
Kevin
dropped the papers losing his place. “WHAT?”
Janice picked up the manila folder near the computer with Gozer stamped onto it. “I am still amazed that an act of intercourse opened up the gate.”
“Oh,” Kevin
said picking up and reordering the papers. I am too tired for this shit. She was looking at him. His
mind spun, “Actually, it isn’t so surprising, there are several examples of
religions that consider sex as a method of becoming one with the divine such as
the Tantras originating out of India. They claim that when done properly it will culminate in an experience of
infinite awareness.” Kevin felt like he needed a
shovel; the shit was getting deep.
“Fascinating,” she said looking over
the file.
“Done,” he said finishing the read.
Now where exactly do I have to sign?”
“Come here and let me show you,” She
scooted over on the bed.
He moved and proceded to sign as she
pointed. When he was done she took the papers.
“Listen,” she said losing some of
her strict tone. “I want to apologize.”
“For what?” Keivn was caught off
guard.
“For yesterday, I admit I was a bit
of a bitch. It had been a long day, and this is my first major case and I don’t
want to mess it up and get fired”
So
there might be a heart after all Kevin thought. “Hey, its alright. I know
exactly how it feels. Our jobs are both on the line.” He stood up, “We don’t
have to make this terrible. I mean we are both interested in keeping this
company running. Its like the last time I encountered IA.”
“Last time?” She asked. She opened
her case and began flipping through papers.
“You wont find it, thanks to Dr. V,”
Kevin said looking over his computer monitor out the window. He turned back
towards her. “It didn’t take to long for Ramey to find out that Josh and Ryan
weren’t 18. Luckily after defeating Odïn, Dr. V talked Ramey into letting it
slide.”
“Isn’t that a bit young to be
battling demons?” She asked jokingly as she put her stuff away.
“It worked out ok,” Kevin pulled a
frame from a pile, “We even made Teen People.” He handed over the framed
cover, disturbing it from its pile of collecting junk.
“The New Generation: Young, Brave,
and Sexy,” she read aloud. “Sexy?” She looked up at him.
“Hey!” Kevin grinned as the
conversation losened. “We may not be Brad Pitts, no matter how much Ryan might
interject, but still.”
She responded with a raised eyebrow.
Kevin laughed out loud. “Yeah, ok, I am a bit sceptical about that last adjective
too.”
“I never said it was inaccurate.”
Kevin laughed again, “Are you
possesed?”
She looked surprised, “What?!”
“Are you possesed?” Kevin repeated going
for his pke meter.
“Maybe I am just tired of Strong
Handsome Athletically fit men,” she tried to say sincerely.
“Are you saying I am not
athletically fit?” Kevin put down the meter.
“Hey now, you can’t turn my words
agains me,” She briefly let a smile show through.
“Why? You women do it to us all the
time,” Kevin laughed again rolling with it this time. Maybe she isnt so bad after all.
“You women? That’s a bit of a
generalization.” She stood and looked at him.
“A true generalization,” Kevin added
with a wag of the finger. “Its not my fault you have two X chromosomes. That’s
just science.”
“You better stop or I will turn you
in for sexual harrasment.” She let out a laugh setting down the frame.
“Sexual harrasment? For what?”
“More making sexually biased
comments to a coworker,” She looked at him again mimicking her previous days
tone. “It’s a very serious matter.”
“Oh I don’t think so,” He said, “I
know Dr. Venkman has done far worse and gotten away with it.”
“You’re not Dr. Venkman.”
“Dissapointed?”
“No,” She looked him in the eyes.
“Well theres still no way your
getting me for sexual harrasment.” Kevin felt the conversation getting weird,
yet he still returned her gaze.
“Maybe then for this,” she moved in
to give a quick kiss, but Kevin turned away.
“Fuck” he mouthed to the side, as
her lips retreated off the air. She stepped back and glanced away. “Listen as
much as I want to, and believe me I really want to, theres no way this would
fly. Ramey would have both our asses.”
Janice stood silent a moment,
looking at him. She shook her head in a motion that shouted “How stupid of me!”
then she turned grabbed her bag and headed out the room. “I guess your right.”
Great. Shes pissed and disapointed. Way to go Kevin.
Now she’ll hang us for sure. Hell hath no furry like an woman IA scorned. Kevin went after her hoping to calm the coming
storm. He reached the screen door as she was getting in.
“Wait!” he called.
“No,” she said slightly calmer, “You
are right, we have to keep profesional about this.”
“Well I will tell you what. We get
through this, and I will buy you dinner.”
She took a breath trying to get over
the embarassment, “Perhaps.”
She slammed her door shut, and
backed out rapidly throwing gravel everywhere.
“So much for sleeping in,” Kevin
said going inside to get ready. He figured he better get to the office before
more hell broke loose.
Onarga HQ
10:12 am.
Josh and Ryan sat intently on the
couch, watching as the History channel recreated the American Revolution.
“I still can’t believe those
dumbasses just stood in line like that,” Josh remarked.
“Its cause they thought organization
made them a far superior to their enemy and would win in the end,” Ryan replied
errily knowingly.
“Well the armies of the moon are far
superior,” Josh retorted ala moonanite causing them both to errupt in laughter.
They were stopped as the HQs front door slammed hard. Even from upstairs it was
jarring. The slam was followed by heavy steps of the stairs. Josh and Ryan
turned towards the stairs as Janice emerged.
“This isnt good,” Ryan said under
his breath. “Hold me!” He grabbed Josh.
“Get off me ass”
“Mr. Kanosky,” she said ominously,
“its time for you interview.”
Josh and Ryan gave each other a
look.
10:20
Kevin walked lightly into HQ.
“You’re early,” Becky replied
looking up from some paperwork.
“I figured we might need some damage
control,” Kevin replied setting his workbag in his locker.
Upstairs Ryan was finishing up the
show.
“History huh?” Kevin said. “I almost
would expect the playboy channel.”
“You blocked that out,” Ryan looked
up.
“Oh yeah,” Kevin sat down. “Wheres
Josh?”
“In the spare bedroom with Janice,”
Ryan answered.
“WHAT? Why?!” Kevins thoughts spun
wildly.
“Shes interegating him,” Ryan said.
“OH!” Kevin said calming down.
“Maybe I should check their progress.”
“So I see your not very good at
math,” Janice looked across the cardtable at Josh.
“Blame Barry Bonds,” Josh replied
adjusting his cubs hat.
“I don’t have time for bullshit,”
she scoured.
“Its not,” Josh added.
“Its not bullshit. that you blame
Barry Bonds for you not being able to do math problems?”
“Nope.”
“Do you care to explain?”
“When my mom was pregnant, she got
hit in the back with a foul ball from Barry Bonds. I have the replay to prove
it.”
This caught Janice off guard. “That
not withstanding, you still do not perform well at math.”
“So?”
“I see you have applied for GBI’s
engineering program.”
“You saying I’m not smart enough for
this job,” Josh took off his hat.
“This job involves technical
equipment that requires specialized training,” She dug in again.
“You saying I’m not smart enough?”
He asked again.
“Most GBI employees have Phd’s,” She
avoided the question again.
“YOU SAYING I’M TOO DUMB!” He stood
up.
“Perhaps you’d be better suited in
another field, janatorial maybe.”
“You’re pissing me off,” he got up.
“These ACT scores are incredible,”
She stood herself, “was this even better than the monkey’s?”
Josh got in her face.
“Not only is your intelligence
lacking, but you also have anger control problems as well.”
“The only one whose going to have a
problem is you,” He glared.
“What? Are you going to hit me?” She
asked him.
“Nobodys hitting anybody,” Kevin
walked through the door.
“You’re interupting my interview,”
Janice declared.
“No, I am interupting a
provacation,” Kevin pulled Josh back. “I think its time to cool off: you played
right into her hands.”
“I could have taken her,” Josh
whispered.
“Yeah and fucked us over, now leave us.”
Josh gave Janice one last staredown before leaving. She didn’t even notice
as she sat back down to file through papers. Kevin flattened the papers,
slamming his palm down upon them.
“What the hell? This isn’t some high
tension murder investigation! Jesus Christ, I cant believe this shit. You
started to seem like a decent human being, but I do the right thing so you
throw a tantrum and try to piss Josh off to give you reason to burn us at the
stake. Its bullshit, hell this whole damn investigation is bullshit to begin
with. You keep this shit up and I will go to Venkman.”
“Go ahead!” she snapped, “That
perverted old man couldn’t save his own ass let alone yours.”
“Always with the fucking drama.
We’re all screwed,” Kevin stopped and tried to come to his senses. He closed
his eyes and calmed himself down, “I am going to make the first step: I am
sorry if by some chance, I gave you the impression that I was interested in a relationship.
I mean I am, but nows not the time or place. However, I want this to go
smoothly. I’d like to keep this job and I know fighting isnt going to solve
anything. So I propose we put these last two days behind us and start from
scratch, ok?” He extended a hand.
She looked at it, then back up at
him. She stood back up. “Well…”
A knock on the door interupted the
peace negotiations. They both looked as Becky Hobbs came in. “Kevin I wanted to
ask if you needed anything, we are out of coffee so I am going to to Best to
pick some up along with some other groceries we need.”
“No I don’t need anything, just remember to keep the reciepts.”
“I know,” Becky replied putting on
her sunglasses, keys already in hand. She turned down the stairs.
“Now back to us,” Kevin turned
around. Before the hiss of the s left his lips, Janice stomped passed him
following Becky down stairs, sitting down at her desk. Kevin rubbed his
forehead with his palm, “Women.” He went out to the living area.
“I hope you still want to be a
dentist,” Josh said, “Cause I am going to end up telling her to go fuck herself, or better yet
slap the bitch right out of her.”
“I don’t know, she hasn’t been that
bad,” Ryan said flipping channels.
“Tell me that after she interegates
you,” Josh said.
Kevin closed his eyes; he was still
too tired for this shit. He must have dozed off because the next thing he heard
was Josh.
“Phone!” He yelled between sips of
orange soda.
“Becky can get it,” Kevin settled
back into the sofa.
“She left for groceries about 4
minutes ago, besides it’s the private line,” Ryan said.
“Why cant you get it?” Kevin asked.
“Because we’re lazy,” Ryan smiled.
“Is someone going to get that?!”
Janice joined in, her voice echoing from downstairs.
“Son of a bitch,” Kevin slowly got
to his feet and walked to the north wall where the phone was mounted.
“Hello?”
“Kevin?” a female voice asked on the
other end.
“Becky?” he asked confused, “Did you
forget your purse or something?”
“No somethings wrong at the store,”
She sounded frightened.
“What, are they selling expired
cheese again?” Kevin asked.
“I LOVE CHEESE,” Josh could be heard
in the background.
“No! Listen, they are saying it’s a
ghost,” Becky explained.
“GHOST?!” Kevin asked. His
exclamation alerted Ryan and Josh.
“I didn’t see anything, I was
looking for Folgers and sudenly they rushed us all out of the store. I told
them I’d call you guys.”
“Give us a minute, we’re on our
way,” He hung up the phone. “Alright guys….guys?” He found himself alone
upstairs. He dashed downstairs where the others were getting ready. Before he
could reach his own locker, Janice stepped in front of him.
“I’m going with you,” she commanded.
“Excuse me?”
“I am going with you… to observe.”
“Great,” Kevin sighed, “There’s an
extra flightsuit in the far locker.”
“I’m not suiting up.”
“You are going to bust in
that?”
“I’m not busting at all. I am here
to observe not help”
Kevin ignored the small snickers
from Ryan, “Well then get in the car and stay out of our way.” He stormed past
her not leaving any oprotunity for rebutal.
Best supermarket
Onarga, IL
10:25
~…your action news reporter here. On the scene at the super market where there seems to have been some disturbance. Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?~
~Yeh, I did…~
“So much for eliminating the back woods redneck stereotype,” Kevin commented on the witness wearing coveralls and a caterpillar construction cap. Josh had just pulled into the parking lot amongst the gathering crowd.
“Yeah, no rednecks here,” Josh commented dryly.
“Well with the news already here I guess we better not fuck up,” Kevin added. Janice cleared her throat. “Oh right you’re here too.”
~She’d done been incensed~ The witness finished.
Becky maneuvered through the crowd finding the guys.
“Becky, so what is this thing?” Kevin asked getting out.
“I never saw it. All I know is I was getting some coffee and they came on the PA telling everyone to get out.”
“Alright, I
guess. Well you better
head back to HQ in case we get anymore calls.
I’ll pick up some coffee after the bust.”
“Just get the normal stuff. I do..”
“Don’t Like the coffeshop crap, I
know,” Kevin said as Becky left. Josh
and Ryan were already armed. Janice stood near the trunk arms folded in front
of her.
“You sure you don’t want a pack?”
Kevin asked again.
“I will be fine,” Janice said
smugly.
“These things can get awfully
hairy,” Kevin tried.
“Not if you do your jobs.”
“Burn,” Ryan said adjusting the trap
on his belt.
“At least I am doing more than
staring at her chest,” Kevin remarked.
“Is that supposed to make me feel
bad? Cause it doesn’t” Ryan responded.
“Its alright I got a plan.” He
picked up one of their extra radios out of the back and threw it to Janice.
“Here.” This way you can listen to us fuck up too, He thought.
***
The inside of the store didn’t look
all that bad. In fact had they not have known better the ghostbusters wouldn’t
have guessed something was amiss, well besides the complete lack of people.
“Alright lets sweep this creep,”
Kevin said heroically. The others just stared. “Shut up.”
“What happened to profesionalism?”
Janice asked.
Kevin sighed. “Alright, Janice you
can stay here by the front, they have their surveilance cameras there,” he
pointed by the stores only register. “While the “profesionals” go to work.”
“What ever you say,” Janice leaned
on the railing near the register. As the three manuvered deeper into the store.
“Alright, time for operation
sheepdog,” Kevin whispered out of earshot.
“Whats that?” Josh asked.
“Well we find what ever this is and
instead of busting it we herd it.”
“Herd it where?” Josh asked again.
“To Ms. Perfect,” Kevin grinned.
“You want to scare her?” Ryan asked
dubious.
“No dumbass, I want to hold a slimed
t shirt contest.”
“Yousir are a genius,” Ryan
congratualatorily punched Kevin on the shoulder.
“Do you ever get tired of being
called a dumbass?” Kevin asked.
~What’s taking you so long?~ Janice’s voice scared them. Kevin fumbled
quickly checking that none of their walkie-talkies were on transmit; they
weren’t. After taking a sigh of reliefe he responded.
“We are planning our attack. That way its more efficient and we do less
damage. Its called team work.”
~How innovative.~
“God I can’t wait to see her slimed,” Kevin clenched his jaw.
“Neither can I. Neither can I,” Ryan said suavely.
“Why don’t we split up,” Kevin said. “Before I kill you.”
***
“Let’s see what we got,” Kevin said walking along the frozen foods. He
pulled out the pke meter.
“Well that’s not right,” Kevin commented on the pke meter. It had been
giving him problems since the latest upgrade from HQ on the operating software.
Kevin really wished Bill Gates would just leave windows alone. Now it read that
whatever this thing was it was powerful and a class seven.
“Uh guys,” he called trought the walkie talkies, “the pke meters
malfunctioning.”
~Why?~ Josh asked.
“Its telling me that this thing is a class 7 and its powerful.”
~You sure its wrong?~ Ryan asked.
“If not, a demigod has a case of the munchies. Maybe it wants a twinkie.”
Ryan set down the twinkie he had just opened.
~Do you have any other sensors on hand?~ Janice asked.
“No. They are in the car, but under the circumstances it may be a good idea
just to find this thing.”
~So you’re unprepared?~
~It’s not a demigod.~ Josh came through.
“You see it?” Kevin asked.
~Its more of a mist. Its by the produce.~
Kevin rounded the tomatoes and saw it. It was by the pole beans. Definitley
not class 7, maybe just a class 5.
“So now what?” Ryan joined them.
Kevin just smiled as he unholstered his neutrona wand.
***
“Whats going on?” Janice asked through the walkie talkie. The sounds were
getting louder as protons crashed against groceries and shelving. Only seconds
ago the security camera had been taken out. Looking over the aisles she could
see the glow of the proton beams and the flying debris.
It was coming closer.
***
~Whats going on?~ Kevin imagined almost a sense of panic. Too bad she knows its not a class 7. He
thought aiming another beam to get the ghost where they wanted.
“Almost there,” He said, “good job so far.”
“See we don’t totally suck,” Ryan said.
Kevins voice dropped to a whisper, “Here we go,” the beam forced the ghost
to turn right, down the aisle towards the cash register. Kevin grinned as his
mind raced through what would happen next: a blood curdling scream, a
disgusting splat as it slimed her, and finally them emerging laughing all the
way.
ZZZIRM ZZZIRM ZZZIRM. The
fast ending almost stacato sounds bit the silence.
The three looked at each other confused, then quickly looked around the
corner.
“Are you going to trap it, or just stand there?” Janice asked, a strange
pistol in hand.
“Uh…yeah,” Kevin trapped the stunned ghost.
“What the hell is that?” Josh walked up to her.
“This?” she holstered the pistol. “This doesn’t exist.”
“That’s bullshit,” Josh folded his arms.
“It’s a heavily compressed version of a proton pistiol. If I had to guess I
would say instead of the normal proton canisters they put the protons in a
standard clip.” Kevin said picking up the occupied trap.
“Perhaps,” She replied.
“I want one,” Ryan stated.
***
~Alyssa Weakley
here at Best Supermarket in
“Our loving public,” Josh said opening the back.
“No comment” Kevin said to the
crowding reporters. He walked away but
something pulled on his arm. “I said no… oh”
“Listen,” Janice said deactivating the pistol.
“Yes?”
“You are right. This morning was crazy and my reaction was crazier. Perhaps we can make this right.
“Perhaps?” Kevin raised an eyebrow.
“Just let me be clear, you tell anyone what happened this morning…”
“And what?” Kevin asked.
“The bitch will be back….”
To be
continued….