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The Day After Next Wednesday
By Kevin Kemarly
“Come on,” Kevin said gripping the steering wheel. The streets of Watseka were unusually busy for a Monday afternoon. Kevin had just finished picking up his correspondence Physics course kit from the local community college satellite center. The comprehensive course offered by Professor Spengler seemed a bit too daunting, even for Kevin. On the way, he stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up as Josh and Ryan called then the necessities. Now the Ecto O1 filled with junk food and physics was stuck in small town traffic. In fact the twenty minute trip back to Onarga had already taken ten minutes.
“Well what the hell,” Kevin sighed as he leaned out of the modified station wagon. Up ahead he could make out bright orange lights and signs.
“Great construction! Screw this!” Kevin turned off onto a side street. He cruised by the “rich neighborhood.” As he went by the sports cars and big houses, he wondered how much was actual show. Of course all show isn’t too bad he thought as he focused on a red corvette. He finally looked at the road as a group of college girls crossed the street.
“Holy Jesus!” Kevin exclaimed as he hit the brakes. He shut his eyes expecting to hear a thump but the new brakes pulled through. He opened his eyes to see them staring. He leaned out of his window.
“Uh sorry ladies,” Kevin said trying to stay cool.
“It’s alright,” a brunette said as she rubbed the No Ghost logo on the hood. “I am not surprised you were distracted. We were.”
“Uh what!” This wasn’t a situation Kevin was used to at all. Ryan was the Casanova, and even then, he wasn’t a very good one. Kevin’s social experience was akin to the half life of Ununoctium, about 39 ms.
The girls started walking, but the brunette turned back and leaned against the passenger window, “So if I had a big problem, and I needed help so badly, who would I call?”
Kevin smiled and handed her a business card, “Well you could call me and I could come to your place and check things out”
“I’ll have to remember that” she said taking the card.
He blinked
and the scenario was replaced by reality:
“Well if you have a paranormal experience we are on call 24 hours a day, seven days awake. Here’s our card. We’re ready to believe you!”
The girls left as Kevin pulled forward. “Wow,” he said to himself smiling, “I wonder what that was all about.” He took a second then sighed, “It must be the car.”
***
Finally, Kevin neared Onarga. He had decided to go the back way. He had a nostalgic feeling as he drove down the same country road that he, Ryan, and Josh screamed down only a month or so earlier. The world had seemed to change so much since then.
A drop of rain hit the windshield bringing him back from his reminiscing.
I love the rain, he thought as the rain began to come down.
***
I hate the rain, Becky thought as she stared out the tiny front windows. Even though she was getting paid fairly well, she would rather be out more. Still she wouldn’t give her job up for anything. . . Well a little sun would be nice and maybe a man.
Upstairs the four OGB’s were enjoying their new acquisition: Satellite TV. Kevin had hooked it up earlier in the day before the munchie run. The addicting programs combined with a lack of jobs equaled a mind wasting afternoon and Josh, Ryan, and Andrew were enjoying every minute of it. Kevin was checking updates on the GBI main page.
“Hey guys we now have a color chart similar to the Homeland Security terror warnings. Of course thanks to Odïn, we have a permanent blue level standing.” Kevin read from the screen.
“That’s nice,” Ryan mumbled from behind a handful of Cheetos, “But right now MXC is on.”
“Don’t you remember what happened last time with the TV?” Kevin asked turning his chair around.
“Well, that was last time. As long as Odïn is in the ECU, I highly doubt another Latin American Demigod is going to come all the way here because I am watching funny people fall into sludge water and bashing their brains in,” Ryan remarked.
“He’s got a point,” Josh said as he downed an Orange Crush.
“Whatever,” Kevin said.
It’s now time for Kenny Blankenchip’s
Painful elimination of the day.
“This should be good,” Andrew said.
Suddenly the TV made a high beeping noise. Like clockwork all three on the couch dove behind it.
“OH MY GOD IT’S BACK!” Ryan screamed his hands over his eyes.
“Uh guys . . .” Kevin stood over them, “It’s just a weather report.”
A collective “Oh” was said.
“I knew that,” Josh commented.
The TV
continued to broadcast the alert: PLEASE BE ADVISED. The NATIONAL WEATHER
SERVICE HAS ISSUED A TORNADO WARNING FOR THE COUNTIES OF FORD, AND IROQUOIS IN
“I didn’t think it looked that bad out,” Josh said.
“I have to go check the back up generator. The last thing we need is for the grid to fail,” Kevin rushed down stairs. “Becky!” he yelled as he reached the ground level. “Get ready; we are in a tornado warning!” He ran down into the basement.
“Great,” she said. “Maybe I will get blown to Oz. Would be better than here.”
***
Kevin finished and calibrated the generator, but hung around to check the stability of the unit. He was satisfied that they were safe for now, from a meltdown anyway.
“KEVIN!” Ryan yelled downstairs making Kevin jump.
“What!” Kevin said looking back up.
“You gotta see this!” Ryan closed the door and went back to the second floor. Kevin rushed up behind him.
***
Everyone was huddled around the TV including Becky. Kevin butted in to see what was going on.
“If you’re just
joining us, I am here in
The shot showed the scene. The tornado seemed to be composed of multiple pinkish colored spirits swirled together. Already the destruction was amassing.
“I am not sure how long this phenomenon will last, but I think it is time someone called the Ghostbusters”
“You heard him,” Kevin said. “Let’s go.”
“But Kevin, will the packs even work in the rain?” Ryan asked.
Kevin stopped, “Well, uh, I think so?”
“Let’s just go,” Andrew said.
“If we get fried, we get fried,” Josh added.
***
By they
time they reached
“My God,” Kevin murmured as he looked through the windshield between the windshield wipers.
“That’s pretty big,” Josh said.
“Ah it’s not so big,” Andrew said. Everyone turned and looked at him.
“Well the bigger they are . . . the worse we get our asses kicked.”
“I hope not,” Kevin said as he pulled to the side road. “I am leaving the lights on, let’s go.”
The normally tan flight suits were hidden behind a bright yellow poncho. The rain pelted off them.
“God I hope these things don’t electrocute us,” Ryan said as he opened the back door.
“Well, they are sealed metal; I am just worried about the neutrona wands. The buttons are sealed but who knows what will happen when we throw the protons. It could ionize the polar water molecules”
Andrew pulled out the Pack rack, “Let’s just go already. We’ll be fine. We’re Ghostbusters remember.”
“And we might be Fried Ghostbusters,” Josh added.
They pulled on their packs and stood in the middle of the road. The phantom twister approached radiating a pink glow on the ground. The Ghostbusters squinted in the rain, except for Kevin who was wearing his Ecto goggles.
“All right boys, its time for sunshine.” Kevin said.
“Rain, rain go away, little Ryan wants to play.” Ryan sang.
“Not to mention he is gay,” Andrew snorted. Ryan punched him in response.
“Come on, let’s be professional, throw them,” Kevin said.
They all winced as they activated their proton streams. They went wide but didn’t immediately cause any negative effects. Realizing they weren’t dead the four opened their eyes and aimed the beams. The sound of the neutranization added to the thunder.
“Good, this was easier than I thought,” Ryan said.
Before he finished the rotation of the twister began to wind the beams around it inching them closer towards crossing.
“OFF! TURN THEM OFF! NOW!” Kevin screamed cutting the power to his pack. The other three followed suit.
“What’s happened,” Andrew yelled, “We had it”
“No we about crossed the steams,” Kevin yelled.
“Uh guys”
“We could have made it,” Andrew yelled.
“UH GUYS!” Ryan yelled.
“WHAT!” Andrew and Kevin yelled.
“RUN!”
The tornado had made its way toward them. They started running frantically.
“Kevin, throw the trap!” Josh suggested.
Kevin threw it in its path but the twister blew it away.
“What do we do now,” Ryan said, “Besides kiss our asses goodbye.”
“We run faster,” Kevin said as he headed to where the other people had taken shelter. It was in a deep ditch by the railroad tracks. They ducked down. The tornado continued north but quickly dissipated.
“Well maybe we weren’t needed after all,” Ryan commented.
“I don’t know, I have a bad feeling about it,” Kevin said as he looked up at the sky.
***
Three Days Later
The sky was still dark and the rain continued as Becky leaned on her desk watching her small T.V. She could barely stay awake; the rain was so calming.
THWACK!!! The door slammed open. Becky jumped in her chair. Kevin threw his elbow pads across the room.
“Damn it!”
“Didn’t get it?” Becky asked. Ryan looked at her and silently motioned to shut up.
“I can’t believe this. We can capture a class nine but can we get a small tornado ghost? Hell no.” Kevin stomped up the stairs.
“I think he’s just a little stressed,” Ryan said.
“A little?” Josh raised his eyebrows.
“Well maybe some time playing X-box will help,” Andrew suggested.
“Sounds good to me,” Josh said.
The doorbell rang. Every one turned towards the door.
“I’ll get it,” Ryan said enthusiastically.
“Great, you asked her here didn’t you?” Andrew asked.
“No…uh yeah,” Ryan said.
“Great, just great,” Josh commented.
***
“I love you,” Ryan said as he embraced Kristi.
“I love you too,” Kristi replied with a kiss.
They were on the upstairs couch getting friendly while Andrew and Josh played X-box.
“Excuse me Andrew,” Josh said, pausing the game, “I think I gotta puke.”
“Shut up,” Ryan said.
Kevin turned around in his computer chair, “Why don’t the both of you shut up. I am sitting here trying to research away to stop this thing and all you guys do is play games and make out.”
The others were a bit taken back. For a while there was an awkward silence. It was pierced by the sound of Becky’s voice.
“It’s back
again! This time in
“Great! What the hell do we do now?” Kevin grumbled, “Call them back tell them they are gonna have to sit it out.”
“Isn’t this the third appearance,” Kristi asked. “It reminds me of that film about the twisters,”
“What was that called again?” Ryan asked.
“Twister, dumbass” Andrew commented.
“I know what it was about, dill wad. Now what was it called?” Ryan looked perplexed.
“Twister,” Kevin pondered “Oh my god that’s it!” he faced Ryan, “Dorothy!”
“No that definitely wasn’t it,” Ryan noted.
“No, I mean the device Dorothy from the movie, if we can make our own version and equip the sensors to make a positron grid; we may be able to contract the field in order to trap it. Its brilliant!”
“What?” they said collectively.
Josh, go down stairs and grab the extra containment unit laser grid emitters,”
“Andrew, go grab all of our left over Pepsi cans.”
“Becky! Call GB: CD. Ask Dan Shannon if we can barrow their extra emitters. Tell them Ryan will pick them up.”
“I will?” Ryan asked.
“You will. Just watch out for the storms.”
“What about
“Call them back tell them they are gonna have to sit it out.”
***
Kevin, Josh and Andrew got started immediately. Josh and Andrew set up the garbage can turned paranormal prevention equipment, while Kevin wired the laser assemblies. Luckily they had just gotten in the new auto align laser circuits, it was one less thing to program. The system wouldn’t last too long on batteries, but it would have to do.
By the time Ryan got back Josh and Andrew were helping with the sensors.
“Here they are,” Ryan said dumping the bag on the upstairs table.
“Damn it Ryan we can’t afford to lose any of those,” Kevin said, “Take a seat, we have a lot to do.”
***
By the time morning came all four were asleep on the table. Kevin woke up with wire indentations in his face.
“Ugh” he said.
“That’s about the most sense you’ve made in a while,” Andrew stated as they surveyed their handywork.
“This is it,” Kevin said, “If this don’t work nothing will. We’ll need two vehicles. Ryan, you take the Ecto. I will take our old truck. Josh you can help me load Ecto Dorothy.”
Outside the rain continued as Kevin looked on.
“Now we wait”
***
Gilman. The Phantom tornado ravished the McDonald’s parking lot. Its course aligned to hit the town’s grain elevator. That’s were they were waiting. Ryan and Andrew were perched atop one of the tall grain bins.
“It’s coming!” Ryan said into his radio.
“Good,” Kevin said, “When it gets close fire at it to try to stun it a bit so we can position Dorothy.”
“Sounds good.”
“Don’t cross the streams”
“Dammit Kevin we know” Andrew yelled.
The old truck was uncomfortably warm, but with all of the rain the windows were staying up.
“Kevin,” Josh asked in the passenger seat.
“What?” Kevin said with his hands on the wheel.
“Are we going to have to drive the truck into the tornado and jump out at the last second?”
“Yep,” Kevin nodded focusing still on the approaching storm.
“Hope these work then,” Josh said patting his elbow pads.
“Here we go!” Kevin gunned the engine. Josh gripped the handle above the door.
***
“Here we go!” Ryan said as he activated the pack. Andrew followed suit. They fired at random as the tornado approached.
“What do we do if it doesn’t work and the storm gets here?” Andrew yelled over the noise.
Ryan looked down. The drop was immense; there would be not time to escape. “It will work . . . I hope.”
The tornado reached the parking lot.
***
Kevin
looked over at Josh, “Arm it.”
Josh took the control panel
and activated the unit’s PKE and storm sensors. “Ready.”
Kevin slammed down on the gas pedal. The truck lurched to its high speed as Kevin set the cruise control.
“So let’s jump,” Josh said nervously.
“We have to wait to make sure we don’t miss,” Kevin said.
“We?”
***
“There they go!” Ryan pointed, “Keep firing”
The tornado was about 200 feet from the bin moving toward the east away from the bin. The winds began to pick up, and the lightning increased.
***
“Kevin! Can we jump now?” The truck was almost too close, debris crashed against the window.
“Alright…NOW!”
The jumped, the trucked careened toward the tornado.
Almost there, Kevin thought.
***
“It’s gonna work,” Ryan said.
“Come on,” Andrew said.
***
The truck entered the tornado…..as the storm dissipated back into the clouds. The truck continued on as it hit the railroad tracks. It got caught up. The wheels spun but the truck didn’t move.
“Shit!” Kevin said as he slowly got up, “I didn’t think the storm would dissipate that quickly,”
“Damn, who gives a shit? My knees are killing me,” Josh moaned.
“Come on we have to get the truck off the tracks,” Kevin said dusting himself off.
“Kevin” the radio crackled, “You have to get the truck!”
“I know,” Kevin replied.
“No you don’t there is a train coming from the south.” Ryan yelled into the walkie-talkie.
For a split second Kevin stared at Josh wide eyed. Then they both split to the truck. Kevin opened the driver’s side and shut off the cruise control. He shifted into neutral and then jumped back out to help Josh. The truck was old and heavy. Kevin and Josh struggled as the train approached. Had it been the Amtrak they’d of been screwed.. With a huff both managed to get the truck over. The train whistled behind their backs. A sigh of relief passed by the two Ghostbusters.
“You alright” Ryan asked over the walkie-talkie.
“Yeah, we are a little tired but we are fine,” Kevin said.
“Speak for yourself,” Josh smirked still rubbing his bad knees.
“Good,” Ryan responded, the train still continued, “We are gone head down, looks like we’ll have to wait until . . . OH damn. KEVIN THE THINGS BACK ITS HEADING OUR WAY WHAT DO WE DO. “
Kevin looked as the tornado came towards them slamming the elevator’s office building, pieces of glass and wood were strewn every where. A large plywood piece landed by them on the track. The storm made its way sadistically slow but fast enough to prevent an escape.
“Get in,” Kevin yelled.
“How are we going to get ov. . “
“Get in!”
Josh didn’t argue again. Kevin gunned the engine he hit the gas but pulled the emergency brake; with a sharp turn of the wheel Kevin turned the truck 180°. Josh raised his eyebrows.
“Just call me “The Driver”,” Kevin smiled as he shifted and sped towards the tornado. He sped over the plywood, ramping the railroad tracks. The truck landed with a hard thud but continued on.
“How bout crazy son of a bitch”
“That works.”
***
“God damn it hurry up,” Ryan yelled as he continued to fire on the tornado. He looked down to see the truck speed toward the tornado and the two jump out.
***
THUD
The two rolled out of the vehicle. The truck roared into the twister. Just like planned the Unit opened up releasing the sensors.
“It worked!” Josh said.
“Great, now hand me the controller so I can activate the grid,” Kevin said as he got up.
“Uh I don’t have it,” Josh replied patting his flight suit.
“What do you mean you don’t have the controller?” Kevin asked as the tornado continued towards the bin where Ryan and Andrew were. “Then where the hell is it?”
Kevin looked to see the controller lying where Josh jumped out the first time, right in the path of the tornado.
“Cover me!” Kevin ran towards the tornado.
“With what?”
***
“What’s he doing now?” Andrew asked.
“Probably saving our asses; what ever it is he had better hurry or the tornado is going to get him.”
***
Kevin huffed as he ran towards the control. It was a race between him and the tornado, and he didn’t want to lose. He was closing in when a piece of debris took out his legs knocking him down. He laid there for a second, but then began to crawl towards the controller. His hand graced the handle as the tornado began to pull him in. He took hold of the device. He was face to face with the tornado as he pressed the button.
In a flash the sensors aligned and formed a laser grid. The tornado pulsed against the green lasers trying to move forward. Kevin took a much need breath and then began shortening the laser streams, contracting the storm upon itself. By the time Josh got to him the tornado was the size of a large Christmas tree.
“My god, look how small it is,” Josh said.
“Shut up and get a trap, the batteries wont last much longer!” Kevin yelled.
Josh ran over to the Ecto and grabbed an extra trap from the back.
“Now what!?” Josh yelled.
“What do you think roll it out and trap the damn thing?” Kevin yelled.
Josh did as instructed. He opened the trap.
“Now give me a countdown to closing the trap so I can deactivate the grid.” Kevin yelled.
“Fine, 5…4…3…2…1,” Josh closed the trap as Kevin deactivated the grid. The tornado surged out but was pulled in by the power of the trap, within seconds the ghost storm was contained. The sounds of the falling sensors sounded like hail on a metal roof.
As soon as the tornado was sealed away the storm cleared, leaving a pale blue sky.
“Well I am glad that’s over,” Kevin said as Ryan and Andrew finally made their way down.
“One thing though,” Ryan mentioned. Everyone looked at him.
“Where’s the truck?”
They all looked up to see the dodge Dakota barreling down towards them.
“OH SHIT!”
The End